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Thanks for visiting my “chaos” :)

In the Valley

Posted by on Nov 20, 2013 in Featured | 2 comments

Simply MeOkay, my last post has been over months ago, but it has not been because I don’t enjoy writing.  Actually that is far from the truth.  I have been writing, just on other subjects and projects.  It seems that life is happening again, where I am at a point of not really balancing things as well as planned.  Well, this is kind of the norm for me these days.  I sit and pray about where the next project is going to come from, where is the next payment going to pop up at, when will start bringing in more, etc.  You get the point.  Then I put things on the backburner because I have not been able to concentrate, well everything besides church and teaching my little one.  It has been an adventurous few months with the homeschooling thing, but we are making progress.

Anywho, through all the wondering, I have had to have faith that all things are going to work out for my good.  Sometimes you really don’t understand what it is to have faith until you have to activate it.  Funny thing is that it seems like all hell will break loose before you actually utilize your faith.  We will try everything else before we place our faith in something that is not tangible, all because we can’t see it, touch it, grab it, hold it, etc.  Then when it is all said and done, we fall; well, some of us, and realize that we have tried everything in our power to get it right, to make it work…huh, how did you end up in this predicament in the first place???  Ahh, yes, you got it…YOU!!!  Oh, my bad, I wasn’t suppose to point that out.  Well, since the cat is out of the bag, let’s just own it!!!

I have been there, heck, I am still kind of there.  I am not where I want to be, don’t feel like I am where I am suppose to be, but there is this little inkling that is at the heart of me that says that maybe I am where I need to be at this point.  Then, of course, I cry and pray because I don’t understand the Why?  Maybe because I am gauging everything by man’s standard and others point of view and have not taken time to pay attention to the lessons.  There are lessons in everything that we go through and as stated on a great movie, “Either you run from it, or you learn from it!!!”  Honestly the choice is yours.  Which do you choose???

 

Stay sassy and sweet…Until next time!!!

 

Simply Single, signing off!!!

Understanding Beauty

Posted by on Jul 23, 2013 in Featured | 0 comments

What is Beauty?  Well, I will give you the textbook dictionary definition

beau·ty

/ˈbyo͞otē/

Noun
  1. A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight.
  2. A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense.

So now that we have a textbook definition of what beauty is?  Does this sum up what beauty is to everyone?  Is this a all-in-one, no exceptions fit?  We have all heard quotes about what beauty is, here is one: “Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she’s beautiful but don’t have anything to talk about, it’s going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person.
Amanda Peet
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_beauty.html#ZhRq6zCceHkWIaVr.99

I have read more and seen more quotes that may be a little more befitting to what is beauty.  Society has blinded us to think of beauty as only the outward appearance, to have shallow expectations of beauty, when in all actuality beauty goes way beneath the surface.  Most think that a pretty face and nice figure makes one possess this attribute, which is not always the case.  You can have a pretty shell and nothing worth value stored in it.  Does that still constitute as resembling beauty?  Ahh, it is something nice to look at, but it lacks sustenance.

Don’t get me wrong, we see first with our eyes and we are drawn to things which are pleasing to the sight.  But have you ever wanted something so bad based on appearance and once you were able to obtain, wish that you would have just left it where it was…yeah, me either.  Which leads me to a point, “All things that look good aren’t good for you!!!”

You know that you have heard your mother or grandmother telling you this, lol!!!  And you think to yourself, “What do they know?”  When it is all said and done, sometimes you may have wished that you heeded that warning.  Some seasoned people speak on issues that they themselves have encountered; it is not to lead you to a life of loneliness and that they don’t want to see you happy, that is usually your pretend friends (foes, that is a whole other topic).  It is usually the opposite.  You don’t understand that some people enjoy seeing “young love”, as they call it because it reminds them of how it use to be and sometimes rekindle that old feeling, lol.

Any who, I was about to get off on a whole other spill, but I digress.  There are many misconceptions about beauty.  The sad thing is that a lot of times, we as individuals look to others to validate if we possess it.  Some of us do all kind of things to capture it only for it to continue to elude us.

What does beauty mean to you?

Stay sassy and sweet.  Until next time ;)

 

Simply Single 

Ghosts of the Past

Posted by on Jun 24, 2013 in Featured | 0 comments

Have you ever gotten to a point where, everything may not be as you thought, but it was okay.  The place where you learn to live in the moment no matter what!  The place where you feel like you have been through so much and endured it all.  A place that has now become a place of serenity, a place where you have not just learned to cope or just deal.  You find yourself in a state of peace.  Is this really how this suppose to feel?, you tend to ask yourself.  It is almost like after all the hell that you have gone through, you are at a place that makes it all seem worth it.  Yes, been there!

Then one day, in a matter of moments, you find yourself in another state of hell.  You are looking like, what in the heaven’s is going on?.  You find yourself back in a state of disarray, in a world of chaos.  How did it all go from being good to feeling like the whole world is crashing down?  The bad part is that even though it came out of left field, and it happened at one of the worst times, you think to yourself that it was bound to happen (this is of course after you have calmed down and talked out of going postal, lol).  You see I have come to the realization that some times bad things happen to good people and then there are those whom help it along.

Everybody has a past, some good, some bad.  We have all done things that we may be less than pleased to admit and sometimes wish that we could bury it and move on.  The thing about it is that at some point, it tends to resurface.  There are people whose sole purpose is to make sure you don’t forget.  This is a sad notion that people get off on trying to make others miserable.  What is the saying “misery loves company”.  This is so true.  If a person feels that things are going well for you and they can’t seem to get a rise out of you because they want to somehow be a factor in your life, they will tend to do something negative or to ruffle your feathers.  The way you handle the situation could even make it worse.  If you tend to move as if it doesn’t bother you, oh, watch out b/c they are going to try and hit you with everything that they got.

I have seen it happen all because a person felt like they couldn’t win an argument, they took it to a whole other level, even though in the end it is going to cost them a whole lot more than they bargained for.  Especially when they find out one of their reasons to do the thing that they have done is going to back fire.  I shake my head at this, but it is a lesson to both parties; don’t let some one catch you slipping and for the other party, make sure you show up with the right ammunition, lol.

There is a saying that prayer changes things.  Some times it takes a little longer than one would hope for, but in the end however it needs to be handled, it shall.  To those who are fighting their ghosts with natural weapons, although it may seem a little far fetched, put those weapons down because you are fighting your battle that is not yours to fight.  It takes more energy to try and hide the truth than to uncover a lie.  With that being said, if the ghosts of your past come back, invite them in uncover the truth about the situation by being truthful with yourself.  Don’t let it consume your present and don’t let it dictate your future.  Once you have faced it head on and made peace with it, don’t let anyone try to hold it over your head.  Remember, you are not the same person that you were back then.  How do I know?  Because if you were, this would be a whole different story.  Continue living your life, roll with the punches, dust yourself off and relish in the victory that is soon to come your way!!!

Stay sassy, sexy, and sweet!!!  Until next time!!!

 

Simply Single

Her Husband, My Man

Posted by on Feb 15, 2013 in Featured | 0 comments

Now before you all go on thinking that I am a home wrecker, let me let you all know that it is not that type of party.  I don’t like the idea of being the other woman or anything associated with that, but sometimes you end up in situations because some one was not truthful.  Well, that is sort of the case, but not the case.

I was out a couple of weeks ago with a friend, having fun and just enjoying spending time with my girl because with our schedules (hers is really hectic), we don’t get to see other that much.  We use to work together and she is my daughter’s godmother.  But for the last couple of years, we rarely get to see each other and get the girls together (our daughters).  But when we do, we make the most of it, LOL.

Well, while we we were out enjoying ourselves I ended up noticing some one from my past; tall, medium build, caramel completion, with dimples, with the body of a god…SEXY FINE, LOL!!!  I tried to hide but he spotted me.  I was like “shoot, my night would have been great if I had not seen him”, but uh, it was too late.  Our eyes met and it was like the being of something.  Before I get to the next part, let me give a little background information on how this topic came about.

Any who, how this situation came about was, my friend and I would make fun of the fact that her husband took both of us out last year to a ball.  We laugh about it because I said that I was their date and she says it was more like I was her date and her husband was our escort, LOL.  Well, while attending the event, I saw Mr. Sexy Fine and we exchanged glances and even spoke, but after that I did my best to avoid him.  I had found out that he was married and although we had history, I just didn’t want to find myself going back down memory lane…well, it was too late for that.  The mere sight of this man brought back memories, all pleasant, I may add.  I could remember the way he felt, smelled and even spoke; remembering his mellow voice whispering in my ear the last time we were together.  This was all too much for me, but I did my best to keep it together and maintain.  And surprisingly, I was successful.  After that night, I did not really think of him; out of sight out of mind.

Fast forwarding back to this year, the sight of this man brought back those feelings yet again.  I tried my best to avoid him and was successful until he caught me off guard.  He came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear.  I almost fainted, and I guess that gave him the answer that he sought.  Last year, he may have questioned if I remembered our history, that night he knew that I did.

For most of the evening, I could feel his eyes on me.  The way that he looked at me sent chills up my spine and put a smile on my face.  Why?  You would have to know our history to understand that ( Jon B. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwZ9W5RC_NU).  It was like he followed my every move.  My friend noticed this, as well, and I am thinking that if she sensed it, so did others.  Well, this did not matter to Mr. Sexy Fine because he made sure to speak every chance he got.  I was like, “Wow, really”!!!  

Then it came to the point were he caught me off guard again.  This time we had a brief conversation.  He asked how I had been and of course I gave him the “Everything has been great”, with the head nod.  Then he asked about the children; we have know each other since we were young and he had been around when I had my first two.  I explained that they were doing well.  Then, of course, came the question of my marital status, as he looked me over and didn’t notice a ring on my finger.  I gave him the “No, I am not married.”  Then he hit me with “Why?”  I did not want to get into that conversation so I gave him a lame excuse and attempted to walk away.  He followed close behind and gently grabbed my hand to stop me, walked a little past me and when I tried to walk past him, it happened.  Yep, you guessed it, out of the blue he kissed me.  Now if you think that I almost fainted earlier, think of what I did when this happened!!!  After coming to my senses, I tried to get away because I just did not want to go there.  He caught me and asked me questions and reminded me of things.  I just couldn’t stand there any longer and I turned and walked away.  He called to me, I stopped, he said something that almost had me in tears; I started running (in heels I may add).  I didn’t want to turn to face him, I couldn’t face him.  I got in the car and had to calm myself down.  To think that this man still had this kind of effect on me, kind of bothered me and I just needed to get away quick.

Now, I like to joke around with my friend about her husband being our husband, LOL, but this situation right here did something to me.  I don’t tend to play with things of this nature because I wouldn’t want another woman after my husband.  And this situation had my friend questioning if all men acted this way.  I had to explain that it’s not the case, but some guys tend to want to play games to see what they can get away with.  Now don’t get me wrong, although it was not appropriate, Mr. Sexy Fine did not go on about how wrong things were and the whole spill that some guys do to and neither did I do the “Aww, I know that I can treat you better”.  It was merely a moment in time, he said what he said to me years ago before he was ever married, to confirm what I didn’t believe was real…then.  I know that most of us have heard the song  by Heather Headley (http://youtu.be/8XBMU9XkLLw), well, this is what some people may attribute things like this to, but that is neither the case.  We had what we had, more or less it is like the song by Adele “Someone Like You”.  This man is fine but he is taken and I respect that.

Stay sassy and sweet, until next time!!!

 

Simply Single 

The Joy of Family

Posted by on Feb 1, 2013 in Featured | 0 comments

As I have sat in the comforts of my sister’s home, I had begun to feel a little emotional.  Yeah, you can say that I am an emotional person.  I started thinking back when we were young, without care in the world, what family meant.  Now, we didn’t come from a family that had a wealth of money, but we did share in a wealth of love.  Don’t get me wrong, we had some disagreements, and spats…who the heck am I kidding. We had some knock down, drag outs, but we would always end on a good note…well, most of the time.

The funny thing is that I remember how close my mom and her siblings seemed to be.  I said seemed because sometimes everything is not as it seems.  We would go to my aunt’s house because she was the cooker in the family when we went home (home-term used to signify place of origin or original hometown; a place where your heart resides).  We would play games, eat, and drink (sodas, tea and water, LOL).  We just had a good time, until some one decided that they have to get something off there chest because they had too much truth serum.  Then the festivities would begin.  It would start out as a ‘who did what’, ‘who fault was what’…then it would escalate into a shouting match. It was never a dull moment.  After awhile, we would go back to cooking, eating and playing cards or dominoes.  The thing is we were back cool before the end of the day.

Every since my grandmother passed, it has been a task to get everybody on the same accord.  The tradition was for us all to be at grandma’s house for the holidays, especially Christmas.  I can’t think of a Christmas that I missed at grandma’s house for any reason.  Well, it was decided that the task of hosting Christmas would fall on the eldest child, which happens to be my mom.  Her sister ended up hosting the first Christmas after laying my grandmother to rest.  But of course, after that first year, we couldn’t get a consensus.  So the grandchildren took it upon themselves to try and make things happen.  My brother is the eldest grandchild so the responsibility was suppose to fall on him, but he just couldn’t get right.

After a few disappointments, we just would end up travelling to Texas to see my sister.  I remember spending the next Christmas at home because I had just had a baby.  Yeah, lost a member and gained two members within one year.  Grandmother would have questioned the reasoning behind the new additions, but she would do like she always did, welcome them with open arms, LOL.  She stated before she passed that our family was getting to big and if we kept on we would have to build onto the family house to make room.  It was funny that she would say that to me because at that point, I wasn’t planning on having any more children.  I had two and that was good enough for me.

Now, the ironic thing about it, is that my cousin was already pregnant with her first baby, which was bringing in a new addition.  Then the next year, my baby sister had another baby, 7 months after that I gave birth to a bundle of joy.  I guess that wasn’t enough because my brother’s girlfriend had a baby and just a little over a month after that, my oldest sister had a baby.  Yeah, it was crazy.  I guess grandma must have sensed something way before we could.  It is was just sad that she didn’t have much more time with us.

We don’t choose the family that we are born into but it is a choice on how we react within that family.  I feel like I have been to hell and back with my family.  I have had a lot of ups and downs, mostly downs it would seem.  I have pictured my life without the people in my family and replaced them with others; yeah, don’t act like I am the only one that has done it.  We all have things that we wish we could change about our families and some just simply want to change families.  But, then you realize that you may not be the person you are if you had not had those people or if you had not went through some of the things that you did.  Now, don’t get me wrong and read too much into it.  Some people tend to cast blame on others for their actions, when it was them that did it.  But all in all, our family is said to be an extension of us and some feel that our families define us.  Whatever your take on it, is just that.

My family, as dysfunctional as they are, we still tend to find joy in the moments that we share; even if it is after we have tried to strangle one another; that is one of the high points *get crazy stares* Oh, my bad, that may just be in my family.  Any who, you can add multiple people to your life, but they will never be like your family *fingers crossed*.  So, although you are having some rough patches with those people that you are related to by blood, give them a chance, remember GOD hasn’t given up on you!!!

Stay sassy and sweet, until next time!!!

 

Simply Single 

Learning to Let GO!!!

Posted by on Dec 31, 2012 in Featured | 1 comment

card_icon4‘Letting go'; Let us define letting go.  To me it is a process of releasing whatever is holding you hostage to a situation; hindering you from greatness; this is just one opinion.  It is easier said than done, but it should be easier done and left unsaid, that is just my opinion.  As humans, we have dealt with all kinds of things from love, happiness, joy and pain, sickness, sadness, sorrow and rain.  A lot of these feelings have come from experiences in our lives that we have shared with those closest to us.  The thing that seems to happen is that we may sometimes get stuck in the pain, sadness, sorrow and rain departments and have a hard time of letting go.  Is this to be expected?  I think so for some, for others, it may seem like that those who hold on to the pain are just looking for reasons not to come out of the situation they are in or are making excuses.  There a psychological explanation to this but uh, I am not really going to get into it, I don’t think.  We will find out as this story unfolds, LOL!!!

As the time for the old year is dwindling, a lot of us are making plans to do things differently, to make mad changes in the way we do things, ex. health, money matters, relationships, etc.  The thing is that as we all tend to make resolutions, I don’t understand why some put it off until the next year when they could have easily begun the process before then.  Every year, it seems to be the same thing,‘I am going lose weight!, I am going to leave so and so! I am going to find another job because I can’t stand the one I got!’  So on and so forth, and I know that these things are said with great intention, but a lot of the time, we all fail at keeping up with our resolutions.  Why?  Because we tend to set ourselves up for failure with our thought processes.  I can speak on this because I have been there a time or two or three or TEN…you get the message.  What are some of things that you need to let go of, past hurts, failures, people, fear???  We all have somethings that are plaguing us; keeping us from reaching our full potential.  I read somewhere how to practice the art of letting go in different aspects of your life.  Write it down, drop it off, and forget about it; simple as that.  It is easier said but that is why it is called the art of letting go; it takes patience and practice until.  They saying goes ‘practice makes perfect’, nobody’s perfect, but at least we can be better, do better and live better.  

I am practicing on letting go of past hurts and fear of failure.  These are two aspects that are hindering from reaching the next level.  Before having my last child, fear and failure did not exist to me and nothing was going to stand in the way of me having it all.  Then it happened, I got pregnant and I stopped dead in my tracks.

Funny, because before I had my last child, I didn’t think much about having another one.  Why? because I didn’t want to be a single mom to a third child even though I had a so called boyfriend, yeah, I was scratching my head on that one, too.  But I didn’t have the full commitment of being in a loving relationship with someone that I felt was going to be here through it all, the ups the downs, the darkness, trials and triumphs.  I just did not have that sense and what happened…when I got laid off from my job and all heck  broke loose, he abandoned me, just like that.  He became real mean and would say unruly things; just like he wanted me to hurt because he felt like I hurt him.  He was willing to let me get kicked out on the street with three kids to take care of, but he was going around telling everyone that he was a good man and I was the bad person.  I have been dealing with this issue on and off since then, and every now and again, it would come up…he would come around.  I tried to be cordial until one day he felt like he could talk to me any kind of way and I was just suppose to except that because he felt like I needed him.  I helped him until he semi got back on his feet.  It kind of stung, but I have been dealing with it and trying not to let it continue to occupy my thoughts…hence, learning to let go.

Until next time, stay sassy and sweet!!! XOXO

 

Simply Single

In HIS Timing

Posted by on Dec 30, 2012 in Featured | 0 comments

Just the other day, Friday to be exact, my sister and I were having a conversation about work and life.  We are both moms and both work from home; she has steady work because she codes for a company, while I have to continually seek out projects because I do an array of other things and am basically solo.  Anywho, she was speaking on the fact that she felt that GOD was laying something on her heart, that it was something more to what she should be doing.  She has been constantly pressing forward, but she said that she felt paralyzed on the inside.  She makes a decent living and has a beautiful home, but she asked for increase.

It was kind of weird how the conversation started.  She was doing work in her home office, while I stepped in to do some research, after feeding and tending to the kids.  She told me about her prayer the night before.  She basically recited the the Prayer of Jabez.  The she asked, ‘what was there to do if you have done all that you can?’  Of course she ended up answering her own question while singing a song that we tend to sing.  Stand, that is the response…Stand, when you have given it your all and your best, the most that you can do at that point is to Stand.  But then she came back with another question, ‘how do you know that you have done all that you can?’  That was a question we both could not answerat that point.

Fastforwarding past the silliness that followed and the impromptu comedic segment, lol.  Her phone rang, this call would prove to be the answer that she so desperate sought after.  A colleague called and was telling her.  The conversation started about a sleepover and the attendants finally going home.  Then the news, the colleague was leaving the company.  My sister inquired as to why, but it wasn’t anything bad.  She had another opportunity with better benefits.  What was said next, kind of blew our minds.  She told my sister that she had flown out for the interview and got an official offer within two days.  She also told my sister that she had spoken with the hiring manager about her (my sister).  She was then instructed to send the hiring manager an email with her resume.

After the phone conversation, we just kind of looked at each other in awe.  Could this be…that soon after asking boldly?  She contemplated on waiting to send in her resume and I told her to go ahead and send it.  She finished up the case that she was working on.  After she did some prep work, she sent her resume off tothe email address that was given to her.  We talked, sent up praises.  I was in tears, I am sensitive at times, lol!  Then went continued on with what we had going on, taking time to brief that about what had transpired.

After about 30 minutes, her phone rang; it was a number that she didn’t recognize, so like most of us, she let it go to voicemail.  Quickly, after that, she thought aloud, ‘what if that was them calling?’  I went to check the number since I had the website pulled up, but I didn’t find the prefix to the number that she rattled off.  She ended up checking her voicemail and sure enough, it was the company.  She thought about calling them back Monday, since they were located on the East coast and it was closing time.  I told her to go ahead and give them a call back because she would never know.

I took the little ones upstairs to watch television, while she prepared herself to make the phone call that could change her life.  She was in her office for a little while.  After about 45 minutes, she surfaced, with a look of surprise and shock.  They wanted to know if she would be willing to fly out by next week.  Now the funny thing is, that I live in another state and I am visiting her, my mom will be on her way here and it would kind of work out.  We discussed the arrangements and she said, ‘it would be funny if I got the interview while you all are here?’  We continued to praise HIM in advance of what HE is about to do.

The next day, she received a message to ask if she would be willing to fly out tomorrow, which is today, Sunday, December 30, 2012.  She spoke with me about the arrangements and I told her to go ahead, that I would take care of the kids while she was gone.

She was also asked if she could attend a week long training Jan. 7, 2013.  We were in total disbelief because it seemed like everything was happening so fast and we didn’t not have time to process it all.  We discussed arragements for her having to fly out again in a week and everything is working out.

At this moment, she is preparing to board a plane to fly out for an interview tomorrow; company paid.  I have been shaking on the inside and crying.  We have put it in HIS hands and we know that HE will see her through this.  I am proud of my sister and I praise HIM for the blessngs…HE is blessing everyone around me and all I can do is just continue to be in awe of HIS provisions.

Until next time!!!

 

Simply Single

Fitness Challenge #Mamavation #iheartOmron

Posted by on Dec 11, 2012 in Featured | 0 comments

Okay, all, I have applied for a fitness challenge.  I started working out months back and I have actually had to do things the old fashioned way, like writing down my exercise plan, calculating miles/distance and calories…trying to figure out how to check my blood pressure and pulse.  It has been a tough task but I have been trying to hold steadfast and keeping it moving.  For one, I was not into gadgets or gyms or other things like that.  It was not because I didn’t like those things, but I am a single mom, who got laid off , taking care of my children and every penny that I have has to take care of them and the household.

Sometimes the stress of dealing with all these things can keep you from staying focused on your goal…you make excuses, especially if there is no one there to hold you accountable.   I have searched for different gadgets, read reviews, asked a few people and one of my go to’s, Mrs. Kat Robertson, who is over at iheart7.com.  I watched her as she started a challenge with Mamavation, and the transformation that she went through, but it seemed like when there was a new variable ( she ended up moving), it kind of threw things off track.  There she was starting over again.

I started working out, mainly cardio, I stayed at it but was not seeing any results.  Then there was a new variable and it kind of stopped me in my tracks because what came about, required so much of my time.  I let it stop me from staying the course and the hardest thing after stopping, was starting over.  I watch as my friend started a boot camp because they had a special in her area.  She started doing things that she hadn’t done, her body started going through changes and she began loving the way she felt afterwards.  It got me motivated enough to seek specials in my area, but there were not any that fit my budget.

I have watched from afar, and I told myself that there are no excuses.  I began working out again, slowly setting a pace that I could stay with so I wouldn’t give up.  I have had to remind myself of the benefits of continuing to move.  I got discouraged because I still was not seeing results and the most I would see as in weight loss was mere 2 to 3 pounds.  Even though, I wasn’t seeing results, I continued to stay the course.  I walked longer and even began to jog.  It has been an experience and although I don’t have anyone pushing me or am not apart of a boot camp, where I am held accountable, I continue to push myself.  I have lost more weight than I have ever been able to do since I stopped taking the birth control shot.  Even after my doctor said that he didn’t understand why I wasn’t losing the weight, I am just overjoyed because I have done something that I didn’t think was ever going to be possible without extreme intervention. I still have those days when I don’t want to, but then I think about if I don’t, it will take that much longer to reach my goal.

I use to start out doing some of the challenges on mamavation, from a distance, but never applied for them.  This time I am taking the initiative to be in the spotlight and maybe inspiring someone else who may feel that way I have felt.  I feel that this challenge will take me to the next level of fitness and I am looking forward to it.  I pray that I get the opportunity to participate.  Wish me luck!!!

Until next time!!!

 

Simply Single, learning to love me some me!!!

What are you holding on to???

Posted by on Nov 24, 2012 in Featured | 0 comments

As, I have sat here day in and day out…paralyzed by things that I didn’t understand was paralyzing me.  Then I started to think, I mean, I am forever thinking, but I have been going through a process here lately.  I was like, “Why do it seem like I just am unable to get it together lately?”, it has been like something has been holding me back, but what!!!

I found myself in a conversation with my oldest cousin…a character in his own right.  He asked questions about getting back into the bible (was wondering how do you dive back into reading).  I gave him the simplest answer, just open it and start reading…it is that simple or is it?  The concept itself is simple but the process that entails can be a little frightening.  I read scriptures and we had a mini bible study.  All this came after he got of the phone with his daughter; something she said, had him very upset.  He was so upset to the point that he said ‘forget her’ (well, his words were more harsh, but for the respect of my readers, I will not type them).  I talked to him and explained that whatever was said, that he could not just throw her away…that is not how it works.  He said that he was done with her and that she could not talk to the rest of the family.  He wanted all of us to shun her and never speak to her again.

Okay, now is the part where, I ended up with the King James Version of the Bible, GOD’s Translation, and “Where to find it in the Bible”.  He asked about forgiveness, then praying, then anger…he was kind of all over the place.  Like most of us, when we are searching.  Then he said something so powerful…“I am lost…”  That was so powerful because it was a starting point.  He went on to talk about he has prayed and prayed and he feels that his prayers are not being answered.  Then he went on to speak about things that has been going on in his life, sharing parts of him, that he may not have shared before…at that moment he started becoming transparent.  He became lost in his words and his past as he began sharing.  As I listened, only chiming in when he asked, it became clear that he has some unresolved anger and hate in his heart.  Before speaking on this matter, I prayed, silently, as he kept talking.  I then lead him through scriptures.  We discussed forgiveness and praying and my older children’s father was present, so he chimed in when necessary.   By the end of the impromptu study…he talked about wanting to change…he is searching and not getting the results that he feels he should be getting.  He has been trying to do it in his own strength and felt that he could for a very long time…he has been in despair.  Maybe now he is moving to being desperate, understanding that he is unable to do it on his own and now seeking the Lord.

Okay, I said that to this, at some point there has to come a realization that we go through things because of our own doing.  We tend to hold on to things that has either worn out its purpose or was not for us in the first place.  This can be anything…clothes, jobs, relationships, etc.  Holding on to things that serve no purpose can blind you to the things that are meant for you; your blessings.  We get so use to things that we don’t want to let go.  “This job has provided me with steady income” But you are not satisfied and can not get ahead.  “Girl, he just be playing when he talk like that, those kids can be disrespectful.  They are not his and and he didn’t mean to hit me, it was an accident”  But he stays out most nights, doesn’t help pay the bills and treats your kids like they are nothing.  Do you think being in an unhealthy relationship makes you look like a strong person.  NEWS FLASH!!!  It doesn’t.

These things are like poison, just like holding hate and anger in your heart.  We have been conditioned to think this is how things are suppose to be because a lot of us have not had great examples in our lives.  We have seen women stay in abusive (verbal, physical, etc).  We have seen people stay on jobs where they seem to just be going through the motions.  We have seen people hold on to material things because they just can’t seem to let go.  I can speak on this because I have noticed areas in my own life that do not line up and I have been through the examples myself; heck still working on letting go of somethings.

You tend to find that sometimes you may minister to someone else and find that you are also ministering to yourself.  The things is, do you see yourself and know your own faults and flaws.  Sometimes it does not become evident until you are ministering to someone else.  It is a process to go from what you have seen to what is truly right.  When you know better, you do better (or that is at least how it is suppose to be).  So now, what are you holding on to?

Until next time!!!  XOXO

 

Simply Single